Death Notice and Beyond
In the middle of the night I realize I was pronounced dead by you six months ago. Erased, like scribblings on a whiteboard wiped away.
要有诗。
In the middle of the night I realize I was pronounced dead by you six months ago. Erased, like scribblings on a whiteboard wiped away.
I’m sorry to hear that sorry you had to go through that sorry that it happened to you sorry you felt this way sorry you felt that way sorry you felt that you didn’t have a choice sorry if it sounds like I’m minimizing it sorry if it sounds dismissive sorry if it hurt you sorry if you were offended sorry if I squished you squashed you stole from you spit on you stomped on you swallowed you I swear I didn’t mean it I didn’t know I thought it was ok
when it cools down, my words fade with the summer haze.
大概两年前，有位朋友送了我一瓶沐浴露，闻着还挺香的。她说Costco打折时买了一大箱，不介意的话拿去用吧。那段时间我们还挺频繁见面，也有一起旅游。
从哪一天起我们不再谈论大象？ 列车停摆的那一天 发出最后一封邮件的那一天 或是你下定决心的那一天 我没有答案
从我们不再谈论大象的那一天起，大象 就住进了我的家 我的家是大象，桌子椅子绿植是大象
我也是大象，曾经活在你信里的大象 如今寄居于歌里、无法递出的明信片里 是我们不再谈论的大象 是我
walking walking in an extended dream extending beyond memories
memories come rise and fall rise with tides and consume me whole
unfurl me, like unfurling a roll of bubblegum and get endless strips of summer summers of waves and waves of summer
(December 15, 2022)
在下雪的晚上我睁着眼 只因窗外的光比平时亮
此刻 我只想把雪花交到你的手上 你也可以把它再传给别人 直到他们的 我们的 所有的雪花 铺成一片空白的横幅
直到所有的雪花都不再落下 直到所有的雪花都站在一起
在下雪的晚上我睁着眼 只因在等待这一刻到来
I only want to exist in the cracks, in between two worlds, a perpetual tourist.
I only want to exist with limited beauty, sharp spikes, rough edges.
我从未注意过洋葱， 直到它熏得我流下眼泪。 我从未注意过诗， 直到它熏得我流下眼泪。 我从未被注意， 直到我熏得人流下眼泪。 在被切开的此刻， 我突然觉得自己无限接近于一颗洋葱。
（2022年11月21日）
the end still haunts me like an unfinished dream, interrupted & forgotten.
down the displaced <> quietly, quietly, in the middle of what used to be called us.