Scriptorium Magnesiae

by W. B. Yeats

I know that I shall meet my fate Somewhere among the clouds above； Those that I fight I do not hate， Those that I guard I do not love； My country is Kiltartan Cross， My countrymen Kiltartan‘s poor， No likely end could bring them loss Or leave them happier than before. Nor law,nor duty bade me fight， Nor public men,nor cheering crowds， A lonely impulse of delight Drove to this tumult in the clouds； I balanced all,brought all to mind， The years to come seemed waste of breath， A waste of breath the years behind In balance with this life, this death.

“生活时刻都可能结束，我却像刚刚开始活过。”

恐惧感，还是恐惧感，支配人的恐惧感。 然后是焦虑，潮水一样一浪一浪涌来的焦虑，间歇性的焦虑，令人发抖甚至几欲作呕的焦虑感。

不得不在短时间内产出大量垃圾文字的自我背叛感，不得不被迫吐露一些不情愿的语词的痛苦，对事后必将袭来的自我否定和自我批判的恐惧。

我又一次让自己在写作业的时候陷入到这个状态里了。

只是诱因已经与今年春天的时候不同，那时我满心惶恐，觉得自己不够好，并且未来也将不会变得能够让我自己也承认“好”。 如今则觉得我自己浪费了太多时间在这些徒劳无益的事情上，消耗了太多精力与感情在这些莫须有的疼痛与难过。我知道我需要让自己逃离情绪的泥潭，并且我知道虽然我可以求助（以及似乎不会有人能真正帮助我），但最关键的一步仍然需要我自己迈出。

疼痛，持续的疼痛。

不过，我意识到，它们会停止的。

“After a reading of the Symposium a serious student came with deep melancholy and said it was impossible to imagine that magic Athenian atmosphere reproduced, in which friendly men, educated, lively, on a footing of equality, civilized but natural, came together and told wonderful stories about the meaning of their longing. But such experiences are always accessible. Actually, this playful discussion took place in the midst of a terrible war that Athens was destined to lose, and Aristophanes and Socrates at least could foresee that this meant the decline of Greek civilization. But they were not given to culture despair, and in these terrible political circumstances, their abandon to the joy of nature proved the viability of what is best in man, independent of accidents, of circumstance. We feel ourselves too dependent on history and culture. This student did not have Socrates, but he had Plato's book about him, which might even be better; he had brains, friends and a country happily free enough to let them gather and speak as they will. What is essential about that dialogue, or any of the Platonic dialogues, is reproducible in almost all times and places. He and his friends can think together. It requires much thought to learn that this thinking might be what it is all for. That's where we are beginning to fail. But it is right under our noses, improbable but always present.”

我们太过依赖历史和文化。 每次读到Alan Bloom的这段话，我都会再次感到那种清晰的震颤。

我衷心感谢施特劳斯，以及那些真正的施特劳斯学派，感谢他们严肃而真诚的智识努力。

#Plato

“你得知道，那个你使之朝向论证的冲动既美又神圣。可是，在你还年轻的时候，你得锻炼自己，多加训练，参与那种看起来没用、许多人口中所谓的闲谈，否则，真理就会躲着你。”（Parmenides: 135b）

“一位认真的学生在读完柏拉图的《会饮篇》后，陷入了深深的忧郁。他说，难以想象那种神奇的雅典气氛还会再现，那时人们友好和睦，富有教养，生气勃勃，地位平等，既开明又自然，大家聚在一起，畅谈关于他们的渴望的意义的美妙故事。然而这种体验总是可以得到的。实际上，这场有趣的讨论是发生在一场雅典注定失败的可怕战争期间，并且阿里斯托芬和苏格拉底至少能够预见到，这意味着希腊文明的衰落。可是他们并没有陷入文化绝望，在如此险恶的政治环境中，他们尽情享受着自然，证明了人性中不受一时的环境摆布的最美好因素的生存能力。我们觉得自己过分依赖于历史和文化。这个学生没有读过苏格拉底，但他读了柏拉图讲述苏格拉底的书，这也许更好；他有头脑，朋友多，住在一个十分幸福的国度，这里他们能够聚在一起随心所欲地交谈。那场对话或任何柏拉图式对话的本质在于，它几乎可以在任何时间、任何地点重现。他和他的朋友可以一起思考。需要一再反思才能知晓这种思考的全部意义所在。这正我们逐渐做不到的事情。但它就在我们鼻子底下，几乎不可能发生，却一直存在着。”

Cicero：有三种展现伟大血气的活动，这就是 1. 从政；2. 进行重大的研究或重要的事业，也就是做哲学；3. 采取中间路线，也就是经营自己的财产。（De Officiis，1.92）

“Read no newspapers, try to find a few friends who think as you do, read the wonderful writers of earlier times, Kant, Goethe, Lessing, and the the classics of other lands, and enjoy the natural beauties of Munich's surroundings. Make believe all the time that you are living, so to speak, on Mars among alien creatures and blot out any deeper interest in the actions of those creatures. Make friends with a few animals. Then you will become a cheerful man once more and nothing will be able to trouble you. (Response to a letter from an unemployed professional musician)” ——Albert Einstein,Albert Einstein:he Human Side

活着的人知道必死；死了的人毫无所知，也不再得赏赐；他们的名无人记念。 他们的爱，他们的恨，他们的嫉妒，早都消灭了。在日光之下所行的一切事上，他们永不再有分了。你只管去欢欢喜喜吃你的饭，心中快乐喝你的酒，因为神已经悦纳你的作为。你的衣服当时常洁白，你头上也不要缺少膏油。在你一生虚空的年日，就是　神赐你在日光之下虚空的年日，当同你所爱的妻，快活度日，因为那是你生前在日光之下劳碌的事上所得的分。 凡你手所当做的事要尽力去做；因为在你所必去的阴间没有工作，没有谋算，没有知识，也没有智慧。

τῇ ἐλπίδι χαίροντες, τῇ θλίψει ὑπομένοντες, τῇ προσευχῇ προσκαρτεροῦντες “在指望中要喜乐，在患难中要忍耐，祷告要恒切。”